Brené Brown on Vulnerability

My dad emailed this to me a while ago. It's so great.

Bangs

One time I said to Maddison, "Maybe I should just get bangs."

Then Maddison said, "Yeah, but then you'd be a songwriter with bangs."

She's right.

Kate Nash

Florence and the Machine

Laura Marling

P.S. I'm playing at Velour next Saturday. Does this mean I have to get on Facebook and invite people? Whether that's true or not, please come if you're around Provo. It's my first show there since last June and it's going to be gorgeous and I've even got friends playing with me.

Hello, this is where I live.

And where I grew up.

PALM SPRINGS WEEKEND.

Nobody thinks like me and that's okay!

The miracle is meeting someone's mind

that matches this one, even a little

like the green sliver on a blue and yellow venn diagram.

Valentine's Day Resolution

I have come to terms with the fact

that after me-- and before-- you will always love girls

who can't write,

girls who dye their hardened hair,

girls who wear prints and colors collected from the mall,

girls with Tumblr accounts full of orphaned, untraceable JPGs and GIFs.

You will always love girls who can't write,

and I will only love boys who can't take pictures.

While I'm at it, I'll give up people with ears, too.

People with eyes, people with hair--

ceaselessly, these remind me of you.

I'll give up people with hands, people with bodies,

people who have parents and dogs,

people who walk on the street or breathe air.

From here on out I'll renounce people

with names, people with hometowns,

people with skin, or muscles, or organs;

I will only love people without thoughts,

people without language, without long-held opinions

or email accounts, or telephone numbers.

Starting today, I will only love people

who have never seen the sky,

who have never heard of love,

who have never watched the shutter of a camera flash

always capturing the awkward way my face moves

when I know I'm being photographed and

am terrified that you can tell I'm in love.

How I Joined Book on Tape Worm.

I just wrote a blog post about Valentine's Day and how I joined Book on Tape Worm on our blog. Read it here! I promise it's good.

Watch this!

Uh, guys, Samuel Beckett's Happy Days, Waiting for Godot, Endgame, and others are available in their entirety on YouTube. No ads! Let's get off Hulu and watch one of the classics.

Forgot to mention:

Inspired by my lists, two of my friends made bucket lists this month! Sweet.

Pearl

Victoria

I love these girls.

Some love poems I love.

Un Amor- Pablo Neruda

XVII- Pablo Neruda

Heart of the Woman- William Butler Yeats

Touched by an Angel- Maya Angelou

To My Dear and Loving Husband- Anne Bradstreet

Sweet.

My great-grandfather, Francis Raymon Brown, said some important stuff in a letter to my great-uncle Albert. Here's an excerpt:

"I want you to remember, when you have those moments of discouragement and doubt, that in any event the good life is best and do not commit any sins or take on any habits which will prevent your changing your mind when you get more information about the subject. I hope you will always feel free to seek only the truth and to seek it fearlessly and without favor. If you have any specific areas about the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, as restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith, I hope you will keep track of these doubts, admit that they are doubts, and seek further knowledge and enlightenment on that subject and don’t discard the whole tree simply because you can’t yet understand a part of it."

I love the weighty matters that letters used to carry. I love that my grandfather felt inspired to write these things to Albert before he went to college for the first time. My grandma lets me read her old letters sometimes and once I found a beautiful letter to her future daughter, which she wrote on her wedding day. I feel so lucky to be part of this family and this tradition of writing.

And you never will.

Hum.

Reasons I should move to Provo:

1. Madeline M. had a dream I moved back and it made her happy.
2. Chris will buy me a fruit tart if I move.
3. I can live in a fun house and have dinner parties.
4. Book on Tape Worm.
5. Laura Bennion is leaving on a mission.

Reasons I should not move to Provo:

1. I love Maren unbelievably and I never want to leave her.
2. I like having no snow.
3. I like being without influences.
4. I finally have a job and I need to save up for next semester.
5. Real piano in the house.

"People talked and behaved in front of him as if he did not exist, giving him the opportunity to observe and learn about the duplicity of human beings. He began to practice his skill at reading people's actions, and in that way discovered that words do not always correspond to intentions. He realized that bullies generally are easy to cow, that the loudest are the least sincere, that arrogance is a quality of the ignorant, and that flatterers tend to be vicious."

-Isabel Allende, Zorro

What is this? I don't care.

You took one like this. Don't say you didn't.

Happy birthday! I can listen to the album
I used to listen to with my ex
(the other one, the one that broke up
with me more than a year ago)
without feeling sick to my stomach.

ONE.

Yesterday Maren turned a year old. She danced to The Promised Land and cried all through Happy Birthday. These are some noises she makes.



I love her more than I know how to love.

Today, I swam in the sea.

It was freezing. I went alone. Best day I've had in months.

Submitted to: Inscape, 491, 20x20, Irreantum, and The Provo Orem Word.

I'll probably submit to BlazeVOX, too. Geoffrey Gatza is the coolest editor I've never met.

If I make it into any of them, I'll let you know.

Lemon Ice

One thing I am terrific at is fixing a lemon ice.

I am good at thumbing a red brain freeze out of the roof of my mouth.
I sit at the kitchen counter alone,
Licking my chapped lips and the searing cuts of sour at the dry edges of my skin.
I’m good at the face that comes with lemon ice,
when a baby tastes sour for the first time,
Mouth squeezing into a tiny o, eyes squinting with distaste.

I like thinking about me having a lemon ice, too.
Not in my stretch cotton pants and shrunken T-shirt,
but lemon ice, evoking some white summer dress
and the east coast, so green.
A day in white shoes and wide-brimmed umbrellas, by the sea or a river,
And lemon ice, dainty and chill as the lace on our hats.

(Note: This was a little inspired by the work of Billy Collins.)

Februarilist

1. Visit Huntington Gardens.
2. Celebrate Maren's first birthday with a blanket fort.
3. Finish my yearbook and mail it to Sam.
4. Submit my application for Ecuador.
5. Submit poetry to five publications.
6. Make Valentines. 
7. Start recording a new album.
8. Volunteer at CVRM or Martha's Village at least once.
9. Give 20 things to charity.
10. Finish at least one abandoned song idea.

Things I've been thinking about:

How fast Maren learns new things.
Where pictures I took in fourth grade should go.
How much Paul is my favorite Beatle.