Today I've been going through folders of stuff I wrote in high school. It appears that one day in my freshman computers class I typed some big goals out (answering the prompt "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?) :

"In ten years I will be 24 years old and almost 25. I will be a world famous rock star with solo albums and albums with my best friend Sarah C# Sullivan.   I will have a house in Wick, Great Britain, and I will have an awesome English accent. If I don’t make it in the record world, I will own a music store that will have a giant jar of peppermint sticks that everyone will take all the time. I will be finished with college at Brigham Young University and I will have majored in music. I will have a really shiny black piano in the middle of my living room and I will direct the church choir with my really hot piano-playing husband, who will write songs with me."

There's still time, you guys.

Still time.

Fork Fest!

Oh, hello there. I am playing at this show on Saturday and you are coming. Right? Right.

There are going to be lots of lovely people there, I promise. Hopefully you'll be among them. :)

So Long, Sam.

Hi. This is Sam.

I met Sam in my freshman English class (Honors 150: Writing and Rhetoric) this year. We realized very soon that we had a creepy amount in common and became really good friends.

I think the time we first hung out was after a football game. We saw a weird movie at International Cinema, played penny golf, rolled down the library hill, and then got a guitar and a ukulele and played music on some stairs by the RB.

Good times.


Some of the vaguely strange things we have in common are:

• We own the same shirt, from American Apparel (in the respective Mens' and Womens' versions). On top of this, that shirt happens to be my absolute favorite color and therefore one of my favorite things to wear.
• We enjoy all the same books: Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, etc. We are both borderline obsessed with The Great Gatsby. Oh, and Harry Potter.
• And my personal favorite: We were sitting next to each other at the 2009 Anaheim Choir Festival, and had no idea that less than a year later, we would become very close friends. 

This is one of many times we went to Salt Lake City. Sam's grandparents live up there, so we'd go visit them and finish his grandma's puzzles for her. We'd also walk around Salt Lake looking around in different stores. On this night, we just explored, along with our friend Dan.

We reference Harry Potter constantly, which is kind of part of our generation. This picture is Sam/"Harry" looking into a Pensieve.

Other Harry Potter references:

• Once we got wheat grass shots at Jamba Juice and called it Polyjuice potion.
• People: Sam- Harry. Dan- Ron. Emily- Hermione. Asian Girl in our class- Cho Chang. President Gordon B. Hinckley- Dumbledore. Karl G. Maeser- Godric Gryffindor.
• Places: Velour- The Leaky Cauldron. Wilkinson Center Terrace -The Great Hall. JDawgs -The Three Broomsticks. Etc, etc.

Anyway, the point of all this is that Sam is leaving on his mission today, and I am going to miss him exceedingly. He's one of my closest friends and I'm so pleased that I met him this year. I'm going to see him  and talk one more time today and then he's off to the MTC and later, Portland!

In conclusion:

Sam, you can be sure I'll be writing, fool. Even though you're not going to read this.

The End. :)

The Bucket List

This semester, I am taking a freshman seminar titled "This I Believe," (after the wonderful NPR program) about personal narratives and statements of belief. For one of our first assignments, we had to write a list of one hundred things to do before we die. Here is mine (organized by categories my professor suggested):

Community

1. Write to the President.
2. Write to my Congressman.
3. Have an editorial published in the WSJ.
4. Vote at all major elections.
5. Serve on some sort of decision-making board.

Creativity

6. Publish a novel.
7. Learn to play the guitar.
8. Publish an album on iTunes.
9. Perform a big concert.
10. Publish poetry in a big magazine.
11. Conduct an orchestra or choir, performing a piece I composed.
12. Be in a musical.
13. Learn to play the cello.
14. Be in a band.
15. Get an essay published on This I Believe.
16. Sing opera in public.
17. Participate in Story Corps.
18. Participate in NaBloPoMo without missing a day!
19. Paint a picture I am proud of.

Friends or Friendships

20. Don't be afraid of strangers.
21. Don't withhold compliments.
22. Smile at random people.
23. Show genuine interest in people.
24. Be a better conversationalist.

Spiritual Life (or values)

25. Have mighty, sincere prayers.
26. Read the Old Testament.
27. Have a smile for everyone.
28. Fulfill my Patriarchal Blessing,
29. Always be willing to serve in callings.
30. Go to the temple frequently (once a week, if I am close).
31. See my whole family in the temple.

Health

32. Never be overweight.
33. Always keep the Word of Wisdom.
34. Exercise daily.
35. Take vitamins.
36. Ride my bicycle places, even when it's far.
37. Be a vegetarian for a week.

Helping, Service, Civic Action

38. Serve a mission (senior or as a sister missionary).
39. Work as a poll worker.
40. Volunteer at various organizations.
41. Give a bunch of cheeseburgers to hobos, like Chris McCandless in Into the Wild.

Home

42. Learn to make clothes.
43. Sew a decent dress.
44. Learn to make Foccacia and other bread from scratch.
45. Have a "famous" recipe for something.
46. Read to kids.
47. Bear testimony to kids.
48. Teach kids to be responsible.
49. Have pictures of Christ all around the house.
50. Have a musical family.
51. Read the scriptures every night as a family.

Learning

52. Learn Swedish, French, and German.
53. Learn to compose music really well.
54. Be a great, coherent writer.
55. Be a ham radio operator.
56. Finish The Brothers Karamazov.
57. Read Crime and Punishment.
58. Consistently read different books out of any general type.

Love or Love Relationship

59. Fast and pray before marriage.
60. Marry a return missionary.
61. Marry in the temple for eternity.
62. Write a song with my future husband.
63. Do whatever I can to make my spouse happy.

Money or Standard of Living

64. Be able to stay at home with my children.
65. Make a living composing or writing.
66. Live in a house with lots of windows.
67. Have well-designed furniture.

Neighborhood

68. Paint a mural where I live.
69. Have a "park day" with other moms and kids in my neighborhood.

Play or Recreation

70. Get really good at tennis.
71. Learn to play ultimate frisbee.
72. Learn to waterski.
73. Live on Gotland for at least a year.
74. Drive a fast car, fast, on Gotland Ring.
75. Visit Charne in South Africa.
76. Play with lions.
77. Swim with dolphins.
78. Go on the big roller coaster at California Adventure, overcoming my fear of roller coasters.
79. Skip around New York City, especially in public places.
80. See the Pyramids.
81. Go to Israel and Jerusalem.
82. Go to Australia.
83. Go to Spain and speak Spanish to real Spaniards.
84. Pull one all-nighter. Then never again.
85. Hike Timpanogos.
86. Visit all fifty states.

Relationships with Children

87. Give birth.
88. Teach children about the gospel.
89. Make sure they know I love them.
90. Have great Family Home Evenings.

Relationships with Relatives

91. Be patient with uncles and aunts.
92. Write letters to grandparents.
93. Be the future host of Cousin's Conference.
94. See grandchildren often.
95. See great-grandchildren.

Self-Esteem

96. Don't be afraid to take risks.
97. Smile at everyone.
98. Overcome phobiae.

Work and Retirement

99. Work at a radio station.
100. Be a professional musician.

This is flawed; some of the "Home" stuff belongs in "Relationships with Children," but for me, those will be basically the same thing. Plus, these aren't all exactly concrete. That is, I can't check them off the list in the near future. I guess I've made it more like a list of goals I'd like to accomplish in the long run. Anyway, I'm sure I will edit and add to it in the near future, and I'll keep you updated when I do.

A note to Madelyn: can you configure your blog so that I can leave a comment? As it is, I will just have to say here that I have never seen a Beanie Babie with the seam ripped; now I wonder what's in one. :) Ha ha ha! I miss you a lot, and when I get back, we will have to go on some kind of adventure. I am glad you're having fun in school; re-read what I wrote in your yearbook if you need me to reiterate how wonderful you are!

Another thing: you all need to log on to Skype more or Google Chat or something. And write something new on The Brown Dirt.

I think that's all. :)

I Think

it would feel good to be a violin. I've been playing the guitar more than usual the past few days (I get out the guitar every summer- it's just a summery instrument) and it feels so nice to have the music so close to you, just thrumming through your heart. I wish I could play the cello; a lot of my friends are probably sick of hearing me say that. I'm also working hard at "Time Does Not Bring Relief" and it sounds really good. Hopefully my old choir director will (if I'm really lucky) have my high school choir do it. Does that even sound possible?

Another thing I feel like doing is riding my bike. I got my bike for Christmas this year, and even though I've never photographed it and posted about it really, it's the most beautiful bike that ever existed. Riding my bike makes me feel so... free. I just have time to think. I have so much time. I feel awake and alive- I feel. A part of me adores books, which is why I spend so much time lying around reading, but another part of me wants adventure so much I think I will explode. But I am a coward. I want adventure in the form of travel and beauty and points of interest. Sometimes I think danger would taste good, but I have no heart for fear.

I also feel like being in love. This statement is self-explanatory, right?

Good Day

Hi. Today I rehearsed a piece for a little group from choir that got together to learn Bohemian Rhapsody! IT SOUNDS AMAZING!

All human beings should be in a choir once in their life.

My Audition

I know the suspense has been killing you, reader, so here is what transpired at my Open Call audition last night.

Mom drove me to the McCallum around 8:30, since the email I got from them said to be there fifteen minutes early. My audition was at nine. I was wearing a white scoopneck blouse, a navy pencil skirt, and these new heels I got a few weeks ago. (I'm just saying... I put thought into this. I had to look like a gorgeous prodigy composer, whether I really am or not.)

When we arrived, I went in the back door of the theatre, signed in, and went to the green room. (Luckily, I had a performance there in December with my choir, so I was already familiar) The Varsity Dance Team from my high school was there, and had just tried out, and so I said hi to the girls I knew. Also, the kid who won last year (who's about a year younger than me, I think) and his two sisters were all there. 

I felt kind of embarrassed that I didn' t know anyone really well. Plus, all these people had at least some experience with Open Call, so I was a bit inept in comparison. The audition before mine was the guy and his sisters; they played a very cool trio all together on the piano, even though I only heard a little of it when someone opened the door. I stayed in the green room and talked to one of the girls from the dance team and pretty soon, I was alone in the Green Room. I was the last one to audition.

When a lady came in and told me I was next, I walked through the stage door and out to center stage, trying to keep good posture and look confident, and said,

"Good evening; my name is Emily Brown. I am seventeen years old; I'm from Rancho Mirage, and I will be performing a piece I composed called, 'June Impression.'"

Then I walked over to the piano, sat down and took a deep breath, placing my fingers on the keys.

Then I took another breath, and began to play.

The first thought I had was how beautiful the tone of the piano was. It was a Steinway, and while the keys appeared somewhat worn, the piano was spectacularly in tune, with a clear, smooth tone unlike any piano I have ever played before. I kept my shoulders back and concentrated on dynamics, remembering to keep certain bits stacatto.

Somewhere near the middle, and slowest part of the piece I felt somewhat nervous and started shaking a little. The muscles of my calf were spastically quivering while I held down the sustain pedal. I plunged myself in the music, and finished the piece with some small mistakes.

When I was done, I lifted my fingers from the keys gently, (which my piano teachers have been trying to teach me to do as long as I can remember) and stood up. The judges applauded politely. I said, "Thank you," though maybe not audibly enough, bowed, and began to walk off stage.

"Emily," said one of twenty or thirty judges. This one was a guy, about fifty, to my right.

I stopped.

"Are you classically trained?"

"Yes, I am," I replied.

"Who are some of your favorite composers?"

"Mmm...Chopin, Debussy...I have a favorite piece by Grieg," I trailed.

"Yes," he said. "That piece reminded me so much of Debussy."

I smiled again, said "Thank you," bowed, while they applauded again, and walked off stage.

On the way out, the guy in charge of sound said goodbye to me; so did some other people. I went back to the Green Room and got my bag. Another guy said goodbye and asked if I got my tape and then laughed when he realized I obviously didn't have a tape. Coming to the back door, I said goodbye to the guy at the front desk, and then pushed my way into the cold air outside.

And then- it was as if there was not enough air in the world. I literally started gasping for breath, shaking all over and crying. All I could think about was how much I wanted this, to get in to the show and perform my piece for everyone who would listen. I kept this up, until I got to the car. Then I took another breath, smiled, and got in to tell Mom how it went.

Hopefully I made it, guys. Everyone cross your fingers!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!

By the way, I want a piano just like this one:

It's got an interesting story behind it, too. Click on the picture for a link! :)

Otras cosas...

So... a couple weeks ago, I was at a choir performance in Palm Springs when my friend "Joe" came up to me and said, "Okay, Emily, brace yourself."
"Okay..." I said obliviously.

"We all got into All-State!" said Joe. (Meaning himself, the other guy who was in regional, and I)

Upon which, I literally squealed. A lady who  had been talking to us about our performance said something about insurance. :)

Anyway, it will be in March and I am very excited, of course! You are all invited to come and see me in the choir. I am sure it will be sensational!

I have more to tell, but I will do it when I have pictures to illustrate.

It is SO the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Merry Christmas!!!

And I would just add- FINALLY. I think I have been anticipating this season since about July. Thank goodness it's here. I'm already doing my best to be nicer to everyone and make changes for the better in my life. Forget the election (I couldn't vote in it anyway); Christmas is officially a time for change. I challenge everyone who actually reads this blog to find one way to make the world a little better, no matter what you're celebrating. Visit relatives you haven't seen in a while, volunteer at a soup kitchen, and if you can handle it, begin the process of mending severed ties with someone you used to be friends with. After all, how can we have peace on earth without peace in high school?

Or whatever microcosm of the world you're part of. High school is just my case.

Anyway, this Christmas is going to be amazingly joyful. It's my last one living at home (hopefully, Mom generally adds here) since I'll be off to college next year. It should be full of school choir performances, church choir practices and concert, gift giving, charity, and a lot of new realizations about Christmas for me. I'm reading the New Testament right now, so I'm looking out for epiphanies.

You have a Merry Christmas too! This season (and anything, really) will be what you make it- what you want it to be! I'm sure it will be wonderful. :)

This will be short-

Okay, here's what's been going on, briefly:

-I made SVCA Honor Choir! We will be performing in November. :)

-I went to the dance on Saturday and it was very fun.

- I got a senior most for the yearbook! It's called iTunes Featured Artist and it's for the most musical senior girl and boy! Yessssssssss...

-I am still alive after the Death of a Salesman test!

Anyway, I am pretty happy and I will post something interesting as soon as I have more time. 

Surviving...

Yes, I have made it through my first ten days of senior year. Really. I'm alive. Not only am I alive, but I'm actually learning new things and I like ALL my classes!

Go ahead, double take. I really said "ALL" of them. And I can tell you why.

1st- Government AP. Take everything with a grain of salt. It can be confusing. But you love the teacher because of his obsession with undiluted truth.

2nd- Dance. This teacher is a little weird, but half my friends are in this class. Plus stretching in the middle of the day really is heaven.

3rd- AP Environmental Science, nicknamed "APES." I love it! We watched "The Lorax" within the first few days of class, we played a game outside about deer population vs. resources... let's just say this is extremely interesting. Conservation!!

4th- Choir. I've been doing this for the past three years, and now that it's my final year, it just feels like home. Sure, everyone's new and I've been here longer than the current director, but choir is seriously (no joke) one big, adorably musical family.

Feel free to giggle with warm fuzzies.

5th- Spanish. I thought I would really dislike the teacher at first, but I really like it now. We did an oral last week and I brought in my guitar and sang my oral in front of my class. They loved it, and my teacher basically asked me if I would do that every time. I said yes. It is so fun and I am learning so much about Spanish!

6th- English- duh. You know I love English. My teacher is hilarious; we have Friday Funnies and she tells us jokes. We talk about Jane Eyre a lot, which I actually LOVED, unlike the majority of my classmates.

And that's the day. I'll just post this, since my grandparents just arrived and we should be eating dinner soon. :)