Monday, October 24, 2016
Here, you said, is the hole in me. It is called Loneliness. It is here, beneath my left ribs. And you moved my hand to probe it. I said, I would like to make my home there. Will Loneliness leave you if it is filled with my body? No, you said, the hole is not a bedroom. The hole is not a swimming pool. The hole is bigger than your body, even if it is sitting here, fist-sized, in mine. If you live in it, you will drown in it. If you try to fill it, you will be surrounded by it. Beloved, I said, but can it be filled with my love, wide as the sea, expanding like the clouds? No, you replied. Only with love of my own.
Oh! Beloved,— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) October 21, 2016
you have made of me
a watering can,
And what can grow
out of this shielded Eden
But murky fruits,
too pivotal to handle?
2 matches, 3 matches, 4— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) October 13, 2016
hot plumes rise like 1, packed light,
lay down darkribbed
I unpack and unpack;
ravel a sock, unfold a map
still I swing between god and not-god;— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) October 3, 2016
god admits he is pushing the swing
Time teaches me— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) September 19, 2016
to filter air
to swallow stones
to serve tears to guests
the cure: I open my fists,— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) September 17, 2016
press palms to thighs/elbows/cheeks,
"you are not in limbo!
you are alive all over!
you are right here!"
2— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) September 16, 2016
bleeds bleeds bleeds bleeds bleeds
whose is this body?!
does it love me or love you?
no, it reminds whining
i loved the baby you have lost
2. At some point I learned— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) September 15, 2016
Not to sing when I am crying
Not to cry when I am bleeding
Not to bleed when I am cut!
But yes, I cower when bent
Someday I'll say, wait,— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) August 29, 2016
that's me, I'm made of belief,
I'm a world washing over with love after grief,
Peacemaker/keeper forgiveness machine
Be not afraid of a sour heart.— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) August 15, 2016
When you come to me,
Be loved, beloved,
And say to your lemoned center:
Sweeten up, bitter fist—
This is mine
Amen, amen— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) June 21, 2016
Guitar on stomach, wheeze balloon whistles out of throat-
Darkpine branches, strain at window-
And press in, indigo summer,
Back at home,— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) June 9, 2016
I get to sigh the sigh made of
Pinball brain:— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) May 24, 2016
wake up! where are you?
Of all beds we have slept in, all the white-morning windows,
And who is that coming through the door?
Some sad is inescapable!— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) May 23, 2016
Settle in, dissolving salteye,
But know this:
All my other faces pay rent.
It is hard to be:— Emily Brown (@emilybrownmusic) May 22, 2016
Alive or yours
Or dead or alone
Or kind or good
Or mean or selfish
To be five or twenty
And all these multiply each other