Monday, November 22, 2010

Paper Folding

I had a dream the other day
That you and I climbed the stairs to the top of the tallest building we know
And looking out, we folded a thousand paper airplanes
And sent them, gliding, white and crisp
Fluttering, careening
Down the cool breeze
To the four corners of this town
That being said-
Or that being done-
You turned to me
And with a false embrace
And with a kiss on the forehead
Knifed my chest with half a scissor
Pulled out my still-beating heart (so careful, so sincere)
And said

You can live without this, right?

And Newton-like you dropped my heart with precision from the top floor
Watching it fall (resolutely) and saying you were sorry
And then kneeling by me as I lay dumbstruck in a growing puddle of blood
(Blooming around me like the border of an empire, conquering strongholds and villages and little homes)
Saying you were sorry
Saying you were sorry and hoping we could still be friends
When you had gone to sleep, a dead woman arose from the redness around her
And staggering down the stairs, sang you a lullaby you never heard
Outside she found her gray heart on the cement
A circle of blood around it
A circle of truth inside it
In vain she tried to put it back inside her chest

And thinking better of it, she took her heart and all its inside countries
And rolled them out on the ground
Spread it crisp and bright and smooth
Ironing the chambers and cleaning out the arteries
When it was flat and dry she folded it into a bird
She folded it into a bird
And she sent it flying up to meet you
And to say good night
And then goodbye
And then on

Friday, November 19, 2010

Some things I am thankful for:

1. Good people and bicycle thieves, and learning from both.
2. A new sketchbook (which I have only drawn typography in so far).
3. Lemon tea and craisins.
4. Roommates who love Harry Potter as much as I do.

5. The gorgeous sunset over Provo tonight.
6. Speaking, hearing, reading, and writing poems. (Also, BKDG.)
7. Phone conversations with my mom about recipes, boys, and life.
8. Picking out a Christmas tree for the TMA office today with Elizabeth (my boss and good friend).
9. Letters and emails from my missionary friends:
Sam and his doodles of us.
Molalla, Washington
Mike (nice tie.)
London, UK

10. The healing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Monday, November 8, 2010

If it's easy to say...

Sorry for only posting videos all the time. Ms. Cline has a million songs that all apply to my life right now, but this one seemed best. Also, "I Fall to Pieces."

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Today I am working on a poem in Spanish.
I am talking to friends about life and learning things.
I am being productive and getting work done.
I am writing a new song.
I am clipping all my fingernails.
I am playing silly songs on the guitar for my roommates.
And... sleep.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Today I saw a Russian film about Mexico. In the beginning, there was a long discourse about the earliest Mexicans' worship and fear of death. And in the end, the film showcased their eventual mockery of death through celebration and merrymaking on the Dia de los Muertos.

I am beginning to realize something old and long-realized: sometimes the most painful and fear-driven forces in our lives can turn out to be our reasons for celebration, laughter and ultimately, joy.

Things are low for now. They are going to get better. That's essentially everything I know.