Paper Folding

I had a dream the other day

That you and I climbed the stairs to the top of the tallest building we know

And looking out, we folded a thousand paper airplanes

And sent them, gliding, white and crisp

Fluttering, careening

Down the cool breeze

To the four corners of this town

That being said-

Or that being done-

You turned to me

And with a false embrace

And with a kiss on the forehead

Knifed my chest with half a scissor

Pulled out my still-beating heart (so careful, so sincere)

And said

You can live without this, right?

And Newton-like you dropped my heart with precision from the top floor

Watching it fall (resolutely) and saying you were sorry

And then kneeling by me as I lay dumbstruck in a growing puddle of blood

(Blooming around me like the border of an empire, conquering strongholds and villages and little homes)

Saying you were sorry

Saying you were sorry and hoping we could still be friends

When you had gone to sleep, a dead woman arose from the redness around her

And staggering down the stairs, sang you a lullaby you never heard

Outside she found her gray heart on the cement

A circle of blood around it

A circle of truth inside it

In vain she tried to put it back inside her chest

And thinking better of it, she took her heart and all its inside countries

And rolled them out on the ground

Spread it crisp and bright and smooth

Ironing the chambers and cleaning out the arteries

When it was flat and dry she folded it into a bird

She folded it into a bird

And she sent it flying up to meet you

And to say good night

And then goodbye

And then on

Some things I am thankful for:

1. Good people and bicycle thieves, and learning from both.
2. A new sketchbook (which I have only drawn typography in so far).
3. Lemon tea and craisins.
4. Roommates who love Harry Potter as much as I do.

5. The gorgeous sunset over Provo tonight.
6. Speaking, hearing, reading, and writing poems. (Also, BKDG.)
7. Phone conversations with my mom about recipes, boys, and life.
8. Picking out a Christmas tree for the TMA office today with Elizabeth (my boss and good friend).
9. Letters and emails from my missionary friends:

Sam and his doodles of us.
Molalla, Washington

Mike (nice tie.)
London, UK

10. The healing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If it's easy to say...

Sorry for only posting videos all the time. Ms. Cline has a million songs that all apply to my life right now, but this one seemed best. Also, "I Fall to Pieces."

La Vie en Rose

Cosas

Today I am working on a poem in Spanish.
I am talking to friends about life and learning things.
I am being productive and getting work done.
I am writing a new song.
I am clipping all my fingernails.
I am playing silly songs on the guitar for my roommates.
And... sleep.

Today I saw a Russian film about Mexico. In the beginning, there was a long discourse about the earliest Mexicans' worship and fear of death. And in the end, the film showcased their eventual mockery of death through celebration and merrymaking on the Dia de los Muertos.

I am beginning to realize something old and long-realized: sometimes the most painful and fear-driven forces in our lives can turn out to be our reasons for celebration, laughter and ultimately, joy.

Things are low for now. They are going to get better. That's essentially everything I know.

I miss this.

“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.”

-Veronica A. Shoffstall

The Occidental Saloon

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I recorded this video with The Occidental Saloon last June or so and it is finally up on Vimeo and on their website. Please watch it and if you feel inclined, share it with your friends. They did an incredible job and I'm super excited about it. :)

P.S. Shark Speed's video is also up as of last night and you should watch it, too.

Bloop.

So... I was thinking about the "go invisible" option on Google chat when my brother suddenly went offline the other day. Eventually my train of thought led to this:

UPDATE:

Collin (my older brother) thought it should look more like this:

Ho hum.

It's Sunday and still gray outside after the rain yesterday. I am sitting in my living room thinking about getting ready for church and being productive.

Last night I drove to Pleasant Grove High School with Skyler and played in a Book on Tape Worm show. Ciera got a pickup for her cello, which was wonderful. Some friends came to see us, which was sweet of them. We played well and then we stopped playing and watched Mudbison and then Sky and I got into my car and drove away. It was dark and bright on the drive home.

When we got back to Provo, we picked up Collin and Jennifer (who is visiting this weekend) and came back to my house. I put Ironman II in the DVD player, handed everyone cups of limeade I made yesterday, sipped an I <3 NY mug of milk, and didn't watch the movie at all. Skyler left later to design a logo for this T-shirt company he's part of, (which is debuting today) after putting up with my show-and-telling him my map of Gotland. Around curfew, Collin and Jennifer left and took the car with them. I was sleeping on the couch, so then I dragged myself to my actual bed, wrote in my journals, read 2 Nefi Capitulo 23, and fell asleep.

Anyway, now it's morning and I am going to shower and eat breakfast and do things.

El Distractor

Esteman is my newest obsession, along with whoever the creative director is for these videos. If you haven't seen "No Te Metas A Mi Facebook," please do.

Hey, remember that time I took pictures of my bedroom window and backyard on the night before I left for school?

It was fun seeing my family this weekend. I miss the desert.

This. Is. Funny.

When I am at work, I am as a just-solidified ghost

Still floating half-asleep, my eyes thick and tired with the crust of night

I move through the morning, sighing, yawning,

When I am at work, I am as a sluggish computer

Waking up slowly, ages after I started booting

Weary in my timing, in opening programs and document

In finding the right words and graphics from my memory

In searching out the right colors

When I am at work I am part Xerox machine

Documenting and re-documenting an event, a message

Sending and copying it to faces and names I will not remember tomorrow

Preserving color, printing, printing

Diez

My blog is boring. I know. I am always much worse about updating it during the school year. Maybe in November I will FINALLY succeed at NaBloPoMo and be a good blogger forever.

Unlikely. Ha.

Anyway, ten things I have been doing lately:

1. Making creepy cookies with Maddison and Pearl:

This clearly, is my actual finger. Gross, huh? Read the full post at Pearl's blog here

2. Thinking about Halloween. I have an idea for a costume, but I don't want to post it here because you will ALL steal it. Just kidding. It's not that cool.

3. Working on new songs, as always.

4. Taking antibiotics and eating pineapple for my nasty finger. (Google chat status: explained.)

5. Going to the C.S. Lewis Society on Wednesdays.

6. Visiting the Pendulum Court in the ESC. Today they had Pirate Day. It was delicious.

7. Doing a ton of Spanish homework. Yuck.

8. Practicing for Fork Fest. (Tonight: Book on Tape Worm!)

9. Sending fun letters to Sam the missionary.

(Remember this? I miss this.)

10. Slowly working my way through the Book of Mormon in Spanish.

P.S. My family is coming to town on Friday!! Yessssssss.

Fork Fest!

Oh, hello there. I am playing at this show on Saturday and you are coming. Right? Right.

There are going to be lots of lovely people there, I promise. Hopefully you'll be among them. :)

This is what I do at my job. It is fun.

So... I do graphic design for Theatre and Media Arts, which basically means I make random flyers for stuff all the time and then put them up all around the HFAC. Yesterday I made this, and I like it. :)

I also made this silly thing for the Theatre Education Opening Social. It was fun. I doodled it and then I colored it in. I felt like a third grader.

Porter Hovey's new blog, Kissssing, is simply adorable.

Canoe is my new favorite band.

Have a listen here.

Kudos to my new friend, Skyler, for introducing me to them.